|
We Loved
Up
The Science Of Love (The Chemistry of Romance)
Chemistry of Love
Love Addiction and Monogamouse
Monogamous
Monogamouse Addicted to Love
Relax, Here's a Love Drug We Can All Use
WEEK OF LOVE / THE PHYSIOLOGY OF Love
WEEK OF LOVE / THE PHYSIOLOGY OF Love
Scientists Turn Up the Lights On Love
AUTISM & OXYTOCIN
MATING GAME
Paradox Of Our Times
| |
WEEK OF LOVE / THE PHYSIOLOGY OF LOVE /
SCIENTISTS ARE TRYING TO DISSECT THE MYSTERY OF ROMANCE
Kristina Brenneman
Patriot Ledger Quincy, MA
Tuesday, February 9, 1999
TEXT:
Falling in love literally had Jeff Kinney spinning. When he met Julie Cullinane,
a dark blonde who looks like Ally McBeal, his head spun around so fast, he said,
"I must have gotten whiplash." Everytime he goes to pick her up, the tall,
boyish-looking 27-year-old with the rakish smile feels a rush of adrenaline. His
heart starts thumping and his face feels flushed. His blood pressure flies
skyward when she calls him at work. It's clear that a strange blend of
chemicals and hormones is
producing the growing buzz of romantic love. "I knew it was something special
right when I saw her," Kinney said. "There was this unquestionable attraction. I
went home and told my friend, `We've been going to all the wrong places.' "
Cullinane, 30, has a mutual glow of developing love. After their first date, she
recalled, "I felt so positive and laughed so much I said, `I could marry this
guy.' "
In the past decade, researchers have discovered which chemicals and hormones are
triggered when we're attracted to someone. They now know that for both men and
women it's a combination of testosterone - a hormone that triggers our sex
drive -- and neurotransmitters in the brain that boost our heart rate, blood
pressure and sweat production -- essentially the "love buzz" we feel around
someone we've singled out as a potential mate.
"There are physical changes when we have these feelings, both emotional as well
as physical. That's why it's such an intense experience," said Elizabeth
Englander, a psychology professor at
Bridgewater State College. "People think of feelings only in their heads. But
what you feel is part of your physical biology as well as subjective."
More recently, using magnetic resonance imaging machines, or MRIs, researchers
are beginning to delve into what parts of the brain change when someone falls in
love. And if they can find out, there
may be a whole set of pills in the medicine cabinet to control its down side.
"Americans love love," said Helen Fisher, the Rutgers University anthropology
professor who is studying visible love with MRIs. "We regard it as an elixir, an
important part of living. But it also has
a dark side. About 25 percent of murders are by spouses and ex-lovers, and an
untold amount of clinical depression is associated with romantic rejection."
Apart from the unknown chemical component of love, researchers say there is a
personal "future partner" road map we all develop as we grow up. It may steer
some of us toward brunettes; or toward a man with our father's sense of humor
and what we regard as honorable behavior; or even to someone who likes the same
country western music we do. Each of us forms in our mind a list of traits we
want in a mate, Fisher said.
Nancy Cooney of Quincy said she wasn't looking for a particular physical type
when she met Brian Burdette. She wanted someone quiet and old-fashioned who
would open the door for her and focus on her when she talks. "That's like my
dad is," she explained. "He doesn't say he loves you every second. He's the
strong, silent type." Nancy had qualities Brian was looking for, too: someone
he could talk to, a sense of humor and an absence of "silly head games" that
some people play while dating, he said. The two met in 1990 in the Brown Derby,
a run-down bar with brown shag carpeting in Montpelier, Vt. They started talking
and Cooney said she knew right away, "This is the guy I was going to marry."
The couple will walk down the aisle May 13, the same day her
parents married 32 years ago. As these couples found, immediate attraction to a
man or woman
sets off a chain of events that can lead to full-fledged love.
Still, we can be knocked off track all too easily, some scientists say. A study
published last January in "Psychological Science" found that attractiveness
often led people to ignore other, less desirable,
characteristics. Essentially "people are blinded by beauty," said S. Michael
Kalick, a professor at the University of Massachusetts who helped conduct the
study. High cheekbones were found attractive in both sexes. Kalick said the
study also found that women like "feminized" men, or men like
Leonardo DiCaprio who appears to combine warmth, kindness and trustworthiness
with good genes.
"We're sort of born to be attracted to the same characteristics that would help
us reproduce," Englander said.
But even as scientists learn more, maybe even enough someday to develop a love
potion of the pheromones and brain chemistry that make us attractive to the
opposite sex, it wouldn't necessarily work against our own map, Fisher said. "A
lot of cultures in the world have love potions, love songs," she said. "People
have worn perfume forever and a guy may say, `I'll take her on a date.' But
smell is a small component of love."
Each of the three stages we experience: lust, romantic or obsessive love, and
attachment, are onnected to different brain circuitry and chemicals. Lust --
what gets us out the door looking for a partner -- is the release of
testosterone, the hormone that controls sexual desire in men and women.
Romantic love releases norepinephrine and dopamine, chemicals that send our
heart racing, attune us to our senses and give us a rush. Scientists say it's
partly the dopamine that makes us crave being
with that special someone. As we're falling in love, the brain produces higher
levels of these two substances and of serotonin, a hormone that can have a
calming effect on people but whose role in
romance is still not fully understood. The third stage of love -- attachment --
brings increases in
oxytocin, a chemical produced in the hypothalamus that creates feelings of
caring and warmth (see related story). "We are wired for all three of these
emotion systems," Fisher said. "We all want to feel all these three for the same
person at the same time. That's the reason we love weddings so much. People who
walk down the marriage aisle are in love, attached and have a high sex drive for
each other."
In the age of on-line communication, where falling in love via computer can lack
the cuddling and touching that sets off the hot flashes of desire, there is a
new element to the picture -- our
imagination. "What people often do is construct a fantasy around the
information they do have," Englander said. "When they actually meet the person
then the fantasy can be accurate, or often is not. Emotional arousal is the
same in E-mail as in person. What's different is what you're reacting to." Two
years ago, Fisher put an ad in the Rutgers University newspaper asking, "Have
you just fallen madly in love?" In her study, Fisher is using MRIs on the
participating couples to find out what parts of the brain respond when we fall
madly in love. She won't reveal her findings before they are complete, but does
say they will be applied the same way serotonin boosters are used to
alleviate depression. "We may find some chemical compounds or biological means
to reduce
the anxiety and despair of romantic rejection, which almost everyone feels," she
said.
But not everyone wants to solve the mystery of love, good or bad. "I'd rather
it remained a mystery," said Cullinane, who began dating Kinney two months ago.
"Then you'd look at people differently
or become formulaic if you did find out. Then it's less likely to work. It's
true what they say: You have to be happy with your own life and ready for it."
But Fisher doesn't think the findings would throw a dart into Cupid's chest.
"People fear if they know something about love it won't be
exciting for them," she said. "In my opinion, it's more exciting." ILLUSTRATION:
Statue of a woman with the following points highlighted: Eyes sparkle; Face
flushes; Heart pounds, blood pressure
rises; Palms sweat; Stomach fills with butterflies; Knees weaken;
Feet walk on air; Toes tingle.
(Copyright 1999)
| |
Meaning of Love
Home Work
|
