First of all, if you want more from a
girl than just friendship, you should be aware of
this early enough so you don't try to be friends
with her first then change your mind when it's hard
to bring out the romance. A romantic move
from you might shock a girl who has been growing
accustomed to you as just a friend. However,
depending on how you feel friendship can be
the strongest foundation for a loving relationship.
If you can see your attraction leading somewhere
don't be afraid to make friends first before you
have the courage to ask her if she'd like to go
further with you. Friendship is important in any
relationship, you will unearth it as you go.
If you are caught up in the moment, don't
hesitate, she will probably be feeling as aware of
you as you are of her. In this case don't wait too
long to tell her the truth. Depending on the
situation this could be the day you go on your first
date together, or a few days later when you are on
the brink of friendship but the opportunity for
romance to bloom hasn't passed. Or even, it could be
that you have spent a fortnight or up to a month in
her company and you both know there is something
serious happening under everything and wish to take
it that step further.
You will naturally want to give her little signs
that you like her and see how she reacts.
Body contact is very important. This
doesn't mean you have to grab her behind (although
you can if the situation turns out that way, you
will know from her reactions), but that you ease
into it, by touching her ear or her lips or by
saying something like: "I really like your
earrings." "Your hair smells so nice." "You have
lovely lips." Be casual, she will most likely see
through your words and be feeling the same way as
you, you want to gently ease into the
acknowledgement of these feelings. These moments
will be intense and wonderful for both of you and
the feelings more beautiful when disclosed.
If she responds positively, that is if you have
read her well (it's important to realise whether the
feelings are one way or two, if you don't know her
at all you might be awkwardly plunging into a
lustful fantasy), it's time to move to the next
level. Don't rush it, but be confident in
you, in her, and show that attitude towards her.
Show that being with her is positive for you and
that you believe it's positive for her too. Let a
little of your excitement loose ino this approach.
If you're more the quiet kind of person, sometimes
girls see your shyness as a sign of your attraction,
girls love gentility as well as the fires of passion
so be yourself. Body language is one of the best
ways to communicate your newfound affection, a
fleeting touch, when she sees you doing things she
will see herself at the receiving end of your touch
and if you act with kindness this will appeal to her
greatly. Be honest however, don't feign your nature.
If she likes what she sees you can be confident in
your feelings.
In truth, and this is important, you
don't have to say the words: "I love you."
This is, of course, all assuming that you aren't in
a deep relationship with the girl. If you are you're
deeper in than this article will go and need more
mature and expressive ways to show your love.
However letting the nervousness of the early days
show through sometimes can be fun, a fond and
inspiring reflection on your relationship. Back to
the young newly realised lovers however, "I love
you" doesn't need to be spoken, there are
many ways in which it can be conveyed to which the
words finally spoken can be a meaninful finalé.
Generally, it's important for you to be
honest. Bring up things like: "I really
like you..." or "I would love to spend more time
with you/see you again." However you wish to say
this, put your own spin on it. Or you could come
straight out with "I'm really attracted to you," and
see how she feels. Go with the flow, articulate how
you feel with words and gestures and see how she
responds to your subtle communication. If she is
interested she will reciprocate and you will find
yourself being drawn into a journey of passionate
discovery, of each other and of your individual
selves. Remember, when you both are laughing and
loving happily into your second, third, sixth month
together, that you must be honest. If you feel
something is not right, tell your partner, don't
force yourself into a world of difficulty if you
can't figure it out together, but always give them a
chance. And if you are feeling over the moon,
glowing with pleasure and joy, let them know that
too. Make sure you're both continually aware of each
other's side of the story and you will not be
hindered by doubt. Instead you will find in each
other an infinite well of happiness.
But back to the beginning, you could declare
yourself in a million ways, creative or traditional
or inspirational, it all depends on how you feel and
what you are confident with. Also, you want to be
sure to wait for that special moment of intimacy to
say these things. There may be a few before you find
the courage but don't wait til it's too late, don't
wait for the next time you see each other if you're
feeling ready but just a little nervous. This
doesn't mean, however, that you need to feel the
pressure of organizing a candlelit dinner just for
her. Other locations than a restaurant are perfectly
fine. Just take her on a date to do something you
both enjoy, make her laugh and feel comfortable the
whole evening and when the time is right, when
you're both close together somewhere quiet, tell her
what's going on with your feelings.
Good luck, just be yourself, and remember that
sometimes it's good to be impulsive.
