To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of
being wrong.
- Joseph Chilton Pearce
Only a sociopath has no fear about being wrong.
For the rest of us a healthy dose of caution keeps
us from making frequent mistakes which could harm
ourselves and others. And prevent our employers from
dismissing us.
As children we learn to avoid touching hot
elements of a stove. While a few of us learn this
lesson the hard and painful way, most learn it from
our mothers who teach us to not touch anything on
the stove. They also taught us to avoid touching
many other things, like glass objects on tables and
unpurchased items in stores.
In fact many of us become brainwashed to the
point of obsession with not involving ourselves with
anything that could result in trouble or damage
because as children we were taught to not take
risks. As adults we may not be aware of why we fear
taking those risky moves that some people call
opportunities that come so seldom in a lifetime.
Even shyness may be nothing more than a fear of
doing something wrong and making fools of ourselves
in front of others, especially strangers. This may
be traced back to childhood training we received
from our mothers and grandmothers. Remember "Always
wear clean underwear when you go out in case you're
in an accident"? Parents taught us to avoid shaming
ourselves because it would also bring shame on the
family.
A fear of taking a small risk when meeting
someone we don't know in case we make a faux pas,
thus embarrassing or shaming ourselves and our
families as a result, is what we call shyness. It's
easier to remain aloof than to get involved and
publicly embarrass ourselves.
The creativity that Pearce speaks of that
requires us to shed our inhibitions and fear of
being wrong means putting ourselves at risk of not
just being wrong, but of being teased or publicly
criticized for what we did.
We accept that in the art world few masters
dominate the field while many others labour in
well-deserved obscurity. What we may not realize is
that every artist from greatest to most humble
displays an act of great courage each time he puts
his work on display, risking the displeasure and
criticism of others.
What makes them special--the artists, the
entrepreneurs, the social leaders--gives them the
courage to take the risks? They accept that both
praise and rejection are fleeting, that the same
people who give both cared nothing for them a few
minutes before experiencing their work and will care
nothing for them a few minutes after expressing
their opinions.
If your mother thinks you're a jerk, that's one
thing. But if someone you don't know, just met and
have the choice of never seeing again shortly
thereafter doesn't like you or your work, there is
no point in taking unwarranted criticism from them
seriously.
A stranger will forget you and your work
immediately after meeting you. Holding the hurt of
his criticism for ages afterward serves only to harm
you. Not attempting a project out of sheer fear of
criticism is worse because you unconsciously
imprison yourself in a restricted life.
Since we can never please everyone, it follows
that no matter what we do some people will dislike
it and criticize it. Others will like it if we give
enough of them a chance. Why should we care about
the opinions of people we will likely never meet
again?
More importantly, why allow the opinions of
people who care nothing about you to affect your
life and how you approach opportunities that present
themselves?
When it comes to taking risking and possibly
being wrong, only your opinion and the opinions of
those who care about you should matter.
