Want
to succeed in online dating? Your dating profile
(or personal profile) may well be the difference
between success and failure. Why?
Well, online, you are what you write. Your
personal ad is your first introduction to the
person you want to meet.
You see, during face to face communication other
aspects such as body language, choice of
clothing, individual scent, body language, poise
etc. all come to play. While extremely few
people (if any) are strong in all the aspects,
your one or two strong areas might be so
endearing that the other person might forgive or
not even notice the weaknesses.
But in online dating all you have is your
profile. Lose here and lose all. Not only that
but:
Writing your profile does other positive things
to you like:
1. Makes you admit that you do need to find a date.
2. Forces you to look deeper into yourself and get
to know the real you.
3. Allows you to be specific about the kind of
person you are looking for, beyond the basics.
I cannot overemphasize the importance of a winning
dating profile, especially for the single person
seeking a serious relationship.
Now, get pen and paper ready, get comfortable. You
are going to take a few notes that will make your
dating profile talk for you. We begin with the
skeleton.
There are three key points to writing an appealing dating profile:
1. Know what you want
2. Know yourself
3. Know the type of person you want
Let's break each of these down farther:
1. Know what you want: think about what you
are looking for such as:
- A serious relationship
- Casual relationship
- A date
- Marriage
- A discreet partner
- An escort
- A companion
- A friend, pen pal, or e-pal
- Experimentation
Other things that it might help think of are:
- Kids or no kids (now or in future)
- Commitment
- Your sexual orientation/preference
- Age range Race, if it's an issue
- Religion, if this is important to you
- Geographical proximity
- Educational background if that's
important to you
Write it down.
2. Know yourself - Apart from the generic
information such as your age, height and weight,
you will need to know your qualities, assets and
liabilities as well as hobbies, likes and
dislikes. Think about:
a. Your assets: Some things to think about are:
- Sense of humor
- Romantic
- Confident
- Sociable
- Honest
- Intelligent
- Ready for commitment
- CompassionateOpen-minded
- Intelligent
The above are just examples, and don't even
scrape the surface. Let your mind run. Write
down everything, however trivial or ridiculous.
b. Your liabilities: these may just be opposites
of assets (above) or more. List these down. Here
are some examples:
- Greedy
- Cheap
- Jealous (not always a bad thing)
- Afraid of commitment
- Depressive
- Prejudiced
- Substance abuse or history of
- Bossy
- Hard to live with
- Nagger
Other things to think about:
- What are your strengths?
- What are your weaknesses?
- What do you like to do in your spare
time?
- Where do you like to go in your spare
time?
- What do your friends like about you?
- What does your mom love about you?
- If you were to change one thing about
you, what would that be?What type of
relationship do you seek?
- What are your likes/dislikes?
- What makes you good company?
3. The type of person you want: This may appear
easy, but surprisingly most singles do not know
what they are looking for beyond the basics.
Now, try to go beyond physical attributes and
get into the soul of the person you want. Think
of qualities you would like, just as you thought
of your own. Also remember that similarities as
well as differences do make good matches (a
talkative person might match well with a quiet
one, for example).
Now you have most of the basics of writing your
dating profile covered. Plus, you now can
provide answers to profile questions on any
dating site without struggling too much.
The next step is writing your personal ad. This
is the heart of your dating profile.
Now we shall build the body, head to toe.
When writing your personal ad, remember that you
are selling yourself. Emphasize on the positive, but
a negative well blended into the ad might work as
well, even make your ad stand out ("I may not have
the body of a supermodel but?").
But
first your photo: hugely important. Why?
Because it is the first thing other people will look
at before deciding to read farther. Also, the number
responses increase dramatically when you post a
photo.
The photo should be fairly recent and of yourself
(not your cute cousin's). It should be cast you in
positive light, but not overdone. And please do not
post a suggestive photo on a serious dating or
matchmaking site (it will not be published anyway).
Also of importance is your screen name. Prospects
will look at this before deciding to whether to read
any farther. Make this short, catchy and
descriptive. Avoid over-used terms such as
"cuteandsexy42".
While creating a screen name, it might help to
zero-in on who you are and what you like to do (For
example, "petiteblueeyez32" tells something about
looks and age).
Next you will begin to write your personal
ad. Start with a good headline: yet another
hurdle to get over. Your headline should be short,
descriptive, and easy to remember. Study other
peoples' headlines and see which ones attract you.
Writing: A conversation-style writing works best for
a dating profile. Use imagination. See your ideal
woman/man as though seating right there in front of
you. Tell her/him why she/he would want to be with
you.
Say what you like to do and what makes you exciting.
Get excited. Write without worrying about spelling,
grammar or length. At this point you're trying to
get your emotions on paper (or typing document), and
stopping to make corrections only interrupts the
flow.
Describe yourself. Say what makes
you special. What you bring into a relationship.
Your interests, hobbies, what makes you good
company, what you bring into the relationship. Pour
your heart out. And use action words. Give them
something to make them remember your ad.
There are things you should avoid. Among them trite,
canned expressions and overused clich s. I can't
bear to read another "looking for my knight in
shinning armor" type of personal ad. Neither can
you, I presume.
Study other peoples' personal profiles. If an ad
catches your eye attempt to find out what makes it
interesting. Model yours on these, but please don't
copy directly. Take your time and do it right.
Be honest. Be sincere. Don't exaggerate and
don't fake. Above all, don't lie.
When you are done writing, take a break. Let your
draft personal profile seat for a while (even a day
or two). Then come back with a fresh mind and begin
editing. Make corrections on spelling and grammar.
Cut clutter. All you will have to do now is transfer
your magnetic personal profile on to your dating
site of choice.
